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Christmas mourning.

Free and Funny Nine West Ecard: I know I'm getting what I want for Christmas because I already bought it for myself.

Free and Funny Birthday Ecard: Hope you're such a disaster while celebrating your birthday that they name a hurricane after you.

On the floor

I can't wait to see how my new fall wardrobe looks on your floor.

And if I was allowed to use the oven. Turns out, the others don't want me to touch a spoon let alone an oven, so I'm not allowed to cook...

Free and Funny Friendship Ecard: Fortunately, your obsessive need to tell me all your problems is matched by my obsessive need to offer useless advice.

I can't wait to spend the rest of my life worrying that you want to leave me. | Weddings Ecard

Free, Weddings Ecard: I can't wait to spend the rest of my life worrying that you want to leave me.

It’s not that I’m shy…

People who feel this is true got it wrong! Its not that your shy or won't talk to people! It's that most people won't talk to you! You have a very unfriendly personality! People stay away!

I'm going to diagnose you as being full of s**t.

Low Pain In My Ass Threshold Nurse And Doctor Ecard Humor Photo: This Photo was uploaded by happyhospitalist. Find other Low Pain In My Ass Threshold Nu.

I wish...

"I plan my whole day around the possibility of a nap." Those who know me know I love my naps.

9 Funny Someecards To End The Week On A High Note

9 Funny Someecards To End The Week On A High Note

Free, Seasonal Ecard: At least having a cold makes my usual routine of avoiding everyone feel like a public service.

The ex BF's previous GF committed suicide after they broke up and he conveniently forgot to mention that to me. I couldn't make this shit up if I TRIED.

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: The best thing about being in my is that I did all of my stupid shit before the internet.

Back in the day...

Because they pile 5 pirates in their Subaru's instead of pirate ships and stare at you like you're the freak at the gas station!

Totally down with this idea

Free, Confession Ecard: I wish I could see bands live without seeing any of their other fans live.

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