Explore Bedtime Stories, Happily Ever After, and more!

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Once upon a time a man asked a girl to marry him, the girl said “no!” And she lived happily ever after, and went shopping, dancing and drinking. She always had a clean house, never cooked and looked fabulous all the time.

Behind every beautiful woman, there's a guy who's tired of fucking her. | Breakup Ecard

Free and Funny Breakup Ecard: You Play The Victim So Well. I'm Surprised You Don't Carry Around Your Own Body Chalk.

Omg...yes - Exactly how I feel when my song comes on - crazy pics / funny music girl

When my song comes on…

I bask in your warmth and I dance in your heat. Your music runs down my spine to the soul of my feet. I'm light as a feather when you sing your song. You Pierce my heart, I got an ache and a long.

Yup

Why "Trojan" condoms? Didn't the Trojan horse burst open and thousands of little guys poured out? Less than stellar marketing.

A day gone so wrong it was good

I'm positive this is exactly how my boys talk to each other as soon as I am out of the room.

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The Crown Chakra is the place where the soul dances with the frequency that is now you. Bring it in. Bring it on. Let your light shine! All that you are and all that you have ever been is here, in this moment, and ready to assist.

Funny Encouragement Ecard: I don't think of myself as having a 'gray' thumb, but more of a plant hospice worker. Easing the transition so plants can go to Jesus.

Mom: "Stop touching the plants!" Plant: *dies* oh yeah . I can kill plastic cactus!

...what I should say

“You don’t have bigger balls than me… Mine had to be put in my chest to avoid chaffing.” strange but funny.

Haha - some days.  :)

Yep, the way i feel these days and extroverted/ introvert, confusing but real! ♡♡♡I am an introvert.

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