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Funny Clean House Joke - "Yesterday I cleaned my house, which is dumb because we still live here.

Dieting is when you eat food that makes you sad.

I no longer feel this way. I don't feel like I am on a diet and if I am, well then, Dieting is when you eat food that makes you glad!


Naps are tricky. if I wake up unaware of the year, I just go back to sleep and wake up refreshed later.

The best things in life either make you fat, drunk or pregnant. - so true!

I laughed...hard. @Kai Gradert-Lee Chambers  I thought you would think this was funny!

I really laughed out loud on this one! This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? I just licked her face in case it's contagious ~ Joke All You Can

There should be a #line at every #supermarket for those who have their #act together #LetsGetWordy

Ok seriously if your still shopping or have to price check or just want the cashier to go get items for you youre not done shopping get out of line youre wasting everyone's time.

That's me

Relatable Post I pretty much spend all day, every day, just looking forward to going back to sleep. So true and so me.

The new sponge in the sink. ..being an adult is stupid.

Farewell letter from

Being an adult is stupid. I get excited when I have new cleaning cloths at work. I have a sad life.

Oh yes I have my moments

Don't try to tell me hunger isn't an emotion, because I feel that shit in my soul. (That's why we call it the hanger).

Some days ‍♀️

Hilarious Weight-Loss Quotes to Instantly Feel Better About Your Diet: Anyone who's ever tried to lose weight feels for you.

so true. ... damn black hole. ..

Heading into Target. See you in about a hundrend fifty bucks.

Ive met them all

I'll See Your Hot Mess & Raise You A Walking Disaster.lol Crowley Lee I win!