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ALL THREE! After I have sex I can punch you in the face and then I will sleep like a baby! Yup for sure!

oh yes all the timeeeee, something that got me mad about him was before he even became a close friend with me I used to always see people talking about him and how amazing he was and he would like lowkey brag and rub it off , that would get me more like annoyed , really don’t like it when people do that but then with Time he got better at that and he’s isn’t like that anymore thank god when he would do that , that would decrease my self esteem

All the time. pretty much daily Do you ever just wake up an go "NOPE" .and roll over and go back to sleep? I do, almost every morning.


I'm addicted to coffee. On the bright side I'm not addicted to cocaine

This is so me

Yup that's me haha! Does someone have my car bugged? This is ME! Also, when they are driving slowly(on the Phone) I lay down on the horn! if i cant drive they cant talk!

Some days ‍♀️

Hilarious Weight-Loss Quotes to Instantly Feel Better About Your Diet: Anyone who's ever tried to lose weight feels for you.


I don't pretend to be anything I am not. Except for sober, I 've pretended to be sober a few times.

I laughed...hard. @Kai Gradert-Lee Chambers  I thought you would think this was funny!

I really laughed out loud on this one! This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? I just licked her face in case it's contagious ~ Joke All You Can

They do!  A penguin’s leg is composed of a short femur, knee, tibia and fibula. The upper leg bones are not visible as they are covered in feathers giving penguins a very short legged appearance - Sarah Fern

Yes, penguins do have knees! A penguin’s leg is composed of a short femur, knee, tibia and fibula. The upper leg bones are not visible as they are covered in feathers, giving the penguin the illusion of short legs and no knees. No go the fuck to sleep.

So me, Don't you think.................

that age funny quotes quote funny quote funny quotes humor Oh my goodness that's me.the fine line between professional and too comfortable I feel like this and I'm in HS


It isn't that I'm not a people person. I'm just not a stupid people person. A great way to deal with difficult people is not to deal with difficult people.

Me. Every Monday.

i don't remember much from last night but the fact that i needed sunglasses to open the fridge tells me it was awesome

This Happens to me allll of the time!!!!!!!

the need to pee funny quotes quote lol funny quote funny quotes funny sayings humor


An apple a day will keep the doctor away, but eating 2 it will just kill you. My words of wisdom cause I choose chips over apples any day.

Funny quote coffee and wine. Accept it let it go

Quote coffee wine play in serenity prayer God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.