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Thank you mother-in-law for the endless criticism, parenting tips and dirty looks...I'll file them right away in between 'I'....and 'don't give a fuck'!

Really husband aunt, who threw a temper tantrum everything she didn't get her way and blamed me for it. Jealously and bitterness is an ugly look.

Thirsty Thursdays: Salted Caramel Triple Threat Chocolate Martini (via Bloglovin.com )

Thirsty Thursdays: Salted Caramel Triple Threat Chocolate Martini (Hungry Couple)

funny autocorrect, someecards

wtf: Hey, Auto Correct, quit messing with my curse words, you motherforklift

Something tells me this will be any guy that I date and break up with from now on to his next girlfriend. Lol

I can actually hear your words being misspelled while you are speaking to me - Quote - Amen - Pet Peeve -

Yes!! Another reason I dislike going to Walmart!

Free and Funny News Ecard: Why yes, Wal-Mart, I'd love to wait in line for 30 minutes behind a pajama-clad person who lacks deodorant and a bra. It's so nice of you to have 2 whole registers open.

Lol, forget the working out part. Walking. Attempting to move.

Really, I was just born in the wrong time. Dump A Day Funny Pictures Of The Day - 96 Pics


This might be my favorite insult ever. Fix yo' face ! Hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha I couldn't have said it better!

I made this margarita with my kids slushie machine. Dont judge. random

I made this margarita with my kids' slushie machine. Alex had to ask which drinks were his when we busted out the slushie machine!

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Ok, true eating disorders, and their horrific and tragic effects on those I know and love, aside. This is pretty damn funny


Free, Confession Ecard: Some days I am the queen of serenity. Some days separating coffee filters pushes me over the edge.

Serving my drinks in these tiny glasses is only creating more work for you. Now go and fetch me something more bucket-ish

Sunday morning all you can drink Mamosas. Just bring a pitcher. Seriously, I promise we are going to drink way more than one glass.