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[Please stop making bets about Hercules’ love life. He takes that shit as a personal challenge, and while good for morale, it’s been damaging productivity.]

[SHIELD employees are discouraged from forming a band, and are not to use their paid time for band practice. ETA: ‘Nick Fury’s Missing Eye’ is not an appropriate band name. ETAA: ‘Nick Fury’s Missing.

....

Erik my poor sweet love, do not despair, for Christine shall come to you in good time! <--- there's actually 3 men I whisper that to and they'd be Sam and Dean Winchester and Castiel the angel, gotta love Supernatural

Loki and Ms. Lewis are to cease using the PA system to blast "Slytherin Night" under the pretense of expressing their house pride. They are also to stop trying to convince the junior agents to emulate the song lyrics. Encouraging them is detrimental to productivity and general mental health.

Loki and Ms. Lewis are to cease using the PA system to blast “Slytherin Night” under the pretense of expressing their house pride. They are also to stop trying to convince the junior agents to emulate the song lyrics. Encouraging them is detrimental.

Agent Wilson, this is your one and only warning - return our stationery, or I can personally guarantee you will never see chimichangas for the rest of your life.

Agent Wilson, this is your one and only warning - return our stationery, or I can personally guarantee you will never see chimichangas for the rest of your life.

Yes this headcanon is life. All the Russian going on behind Steve's back.

Yes this headcanon is life. Nat and Wanda being Red Bros and all the Russian going on behind Steve's back.

Clint Barton although I'm pretty sure he's just hearing impaired and not actually deaf

Clint Barton> One day Clint aims his bow and arrow at Tony and tells him in a dark, terrifying voice to "Think fast." Tony stops after that.

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #341:Asking members of the Avengers to autograph memorabilia, photos, or personal items is acceptable. Asking members of the Avengers to autograph body parts or items of clothing that you are wearing at the time is a violation of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s sexual harassment policy. Asking director Fury to autograph anything is hazardous to your health. [Submitted by heavilyparaphrased]

Recruit Survival Tip Asking members of the Avengers to autograph memorabilia, photos, or personal items is acceptable. Asking members of the Avengers to autograph body parts or.

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